The Four Basics



Why do I have this page? I am very happy as a solitary person and I have a great life. People often seem to assume that I am lonely or looking for a partner. I never feel lonely, alone or depressed and I am not actively looking for a partner, but I do see the benefits to be enjoyed by having the right partner in my life, so I am open to that possibility. There seem to be a lot of lonely people, both men and women, in my age range (50s-60s) who are looking for partners so I am explaining my philosophy on this topic as I occasionally have to deal with advances from women who I am not a good match for, or with people who are trying to "fix me up". I'm not on social media, by choice, so this page is an easy way to communicate my stance on this subject. It is a time saver for me and any interested parties, suitable or unsuitable.

I am always open to adding a female partner to my life if they are someone who would make my life better, not worse. The following four basic attributes would be a foundation I would look for in a woman in my age range (50s-60s) who I would consider as a potential partner. These four things are not optional, not mix and match or will ever change. A woman who lacks these four basic attributes would not be someone who I would consider as a potential partner. In short, she must be physically fit, educated and emotionally stable with some potential flexibility on item #4:


  1. She is living a healthy and fit lifestyle. That means exercising every day, eating a healthy diet, having no bad habits like smoking tobacco and having a healthy body mass index (Normal Weight, Not Overweight, Not Obese). Moderate alcohol and marijuana use is acceptable. I use the first moderately and second, not at all.  I will not put any further effort into learning more about numbers 2-4 about a woman who does not maintain her body with the goal of enjoying a healthy, active life. I will never consider inviting someone into my life who does not understand the importance of maintaining her body and has not already dedicated herself to doing so. For reference here is my exercise routine. A prospective partner would have some sort of regular exercise routine. Why? Exercise and a healthy lifestyle can delay or prevent chronic illnesses and conditions as people age and enable you to have a healthy, independent lifestyle as long as possible. You only get one life and my partner and I will get every good, active day of life that we can. (BTW, not a fan of excessive makeup, fake nails (nail polish, in general), fake tans, tattoos, anything typically used to hide poor fitness/health).
  2. She has honestly earned at least a bachelor degree from a reputable university. No cheating, no plagiarism, etc. Anything built from something not honestly earned is stolen. Why? Besides being an honorable person a prospective partner in completing a bachelor degree should have learned to do research, determine fact from fiction, make informed decisions and reasoned conclusions. It will also give us a common educational basis for communication.

  1. She is emotionally stable. This means a lot of things. She respects herself, has healthy self esteem, uses good judgement when inviting people into her life, has high moral standards, associates only with decent, honest, honorable, quality people, etc. She has the ability to clearly communicate her thoughts, feelings, wants and needs. Why? I have been with partners who were not emotionally stable, did not make good decisions in who they brought into our relationship  or had issues with communicating. Any of these things can destabilize and stress a relationship.

  1. She has No children. That doesn't mean no children at home, it means no children, no grandchildren. I have a VERY minor flexibility on this item depending on the presence of factors 1 and 3 above in her and her children or grandchildren and the specific circumstances of her situation. Why? It just adds complexity and vulnerability to a relationship increasing the chances of failure. Under the right circumstances, I might consider a partner with children or grandchildren.

These four basic things are not my ideal of a perfect partner, just the foundation for the type of person I would invite into my life to make it better, not worse. Perfection would be a woman who, in addition to the basics 1-4, is also, like me, left handed, politically liberal, vegan/vegetarian, atheist, animal lover and is small breasted and bottomed and ? It is not reasonable to expect that I would find all of these additional traits in a potential partner, but someone having all of these traits would make me a happy camper. I don't expect perfection and could work around some of these things if a potential partner could work around these traits in me if they did not match their ideal.